How others see you is not important, but how you see yourself means everything.
Daily, I receive lots of messages and emails about the way I look, but sometimes I can’t feel those words. Some days, I only look for imperfections.
Lately, I have been struggling with myself.
I was ill for weeks and I’ve been on strong medications. I have an allergic reaction on my body, which leaves dark marks on the skin. On the other side, my body is growing due to birth control.
I bought a dress for our picnic date and I had imagined myself differently from how it actually looked on me. I was standing in front of the mirror and pointing out everything I didn’t like about my body. I felt down.
My husband complimented my look, but I didn’t believe in his words as I thought he was only being nice to me. I sat down for a moment and I was thinking deep inside.
I couldn’t let the negative thoughts get to me. I stood up and wore the same dress I threw away a short while ago and left the house.
At the beach, I asked my husband to take pictures of me and he did, but I was not happy with it. No, it was not the pictures, but myself. My mind was disturbing me. I zoomed in and out a few times before I decided not to post any, but my husband was pushing me. He said I looked good, but my thoughts were not the same.
I spoke to him about the way I felt about myself. As always, he motivated me to a hundred. I promised him that I will build myself. Not only physically, but mentally too.
It’s not about what others think about you, but you have to be happy with yourself. You have to feel it from the inside.
I’m now on my way to the gym. I will not give up again. I will get back stronger and bigger.